It goes “I can do anything to lose weight, except going to the gym or on a diet.”- And it’s true. Whenever I can’t button my favourite pair of jeans or a previously loose top doesn’t quite fit right, my mind goes to fad diets instead of the traditional sweating it out routine.
I mean, if a diet promises me that a woman in some remote part of the world lost a bunch of weight with ‘this miracle ingredient’, why shouldn’t I try it (Turns out the miracle ingredient is a laxative – FACEPALM)!
There are crazier people than me out there. Check out some of the most insane ways people have tried to lose weight:
Starting off with the horrid idea I came across, people battling weight gain have been known to devour laxatives right after their meals. So basically, eat whatever you want and then force it right out. What this bright idea can result in is not quick weight loss but severe diarrhoea and rectal bleeding. Won’t get you into that tight dress but will get you a trip to the hospital. Do not try this. EVER!
Ingesting a Tapeworm
This one is depressing, even by my will-do-just-about-anything standards. Tapeworms are parasites that live in the digestive tract of animals and absorb fats and sugars. Essentially, people eat tapeworm eggs hoping they will be able to eat cakes and pizzas without gaining any weight. What actually happens is that the worms infect other parts of the body, such as the brain and cause horrific problems. This is SO not what I imagined when you said you’ve caught the weight loss bug, people!
Yes, let’s lose some weight and maybe a lung or two while we’re at it! I cannot exactly scoff at people who tried smoking because they thought it’d suppress their appetite – I’ve tried it myself. While smoking does increase your metabolic rate in the short run, it is not a particularly sustainable way to lose weight. It will cause horrible effects sooner rather than later. I suggest you drop the habit and pick up a dumbbell instead.
I came across this while doing research for this blog – and it is horrible. There are actually books and websites which are pro-anorexia. They will give you meal plans (non-meal plans?) to help develop the disorder. This is seriously twisted. Trying to give yourself a disorder is a disorder in itself and anyone thinking about it should rush to a psychiatrist. This is only going to make you a sickly, neurotic mess.
When you start mixing clay in water for weight loss, know that you’ve travelled to the dark side. Apparently, clay swells to 12 times its original volume in the stomach and literally leaves no space for hunger pangs. I honestly would try this myself (What!? It sounds logical!) but then again, the high levels of arsenic in clay could lead to brain damage or kidney failure, so yeah, I’ll pass.On a serious note, as much as I’ve tried to keep this entertaining, these fad diets are extremely dangerous and potentially fatal. Do not let vanity kill you. If you’re super keen on losing weight, I urge you to do it the right way.
In closing, I reiterate – There are absolutely no miracles when it comes to losing weight.